$44.99 from Amazon »

This black box is nearly impossible to put together. Ninety-nine percent of those who try will fail. But for the always-elite 1%, once your corners are aligned and screws affixed, the world will be your oyster. Flip the box's switch On to take Earth over. Then watch your mischievous righthand finger... [ Read more ▸ ]

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Codex Seraphinianus: World's Strangest Book

$97.11 from Amazon »

First published in 1981, the radically strange and unparalleled Codex Seraphinianus took Italian architect, illustrator, and industrial designer Luigi Serafini 2-1/2 years to complete. What is it? Aside from floating...

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TV-B-Gone Kit

$17.42 from Amazon »

Let's be clear: it would be a supreme a-hole move for someone to use a homemade TV-B-Gone to shut off the women's beach volleyball game I am watching at a bar. Obnoxious and unacceptable. However...were I to use my DIY...

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Toroflux Kinetic Flow Toy

$19.95 from Amazon »

Don't be fooled into thinking the Toroflux kinetic sculpture is just some stupid bracelet-slinky-figuratively-one-dimensional-girl-and-baby toy like I was. Watch the video. Like, beyond the first 10 seconds when the dude...

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PC Prankster

$10.30 from Amazon »

I live for shenanigans of the PC Prankster variety. No, not because I'm devious and mean-spirited, because I have great empathy for others. I know as well as anyone how it feels to reach a level of frustration with a...

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Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit

$334.31 from Amazon »

Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and...

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Allwood Kit Cabins

$3,400 - $34,900 from Amazon »

Allwood Kit Cabins may be no more than glorified playhouses to some, but given that I haven't found a place to put (or the money to buy) my Honomobo Container Home yet...it's time to glorify me a playhouse, baby!...

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NFC Programmable Smart Ring

$59.99 from Amazon »

At this point you could put a different type of smart ring on every one of your fingers if you wanted. The NFC Ring is a programmable piece of smart jewelry you can wave around powerful wizard- or dismissive CEO-style...

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Other People's Face Masks

$9.99 - $11.94 from Amazon »

Get all 4 of Faux Real's Face (of Someone Else) Masks to swap out throughout the night at this year's Halloween party and kill it as Arya Stark or Jaqen H'gar, or maybe just a generic Faceless Man...

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Assassin's Creed IV Hidden Blade Gauntlet

$33.30 from Amazon »

Assassin's Creed fan or not, everyone needs a gauntlet with a hidden retractable blade. The Edward Kenway Black Flag replica shown here includes one that's spring-loaded with switchblade-style action. The gauntlet itself...

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True Mirror - How Others See You

$200 from Amazon »

The True Mirror idea is simple (and old; it was first patented in 1887): place two mirrors at right angles and have a look-see. Its effect, though, elicits the complexities of realization spanning everything from Whoa!...

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Airsoft Tornado Impact Grenade

$90.50 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Pull the pin and let the propane do the rest. When Airsoft's Tornado Impact Grenades detonate, they scatter over 200 plastic 6mm pellets in all 3 dimensions under which your enemies might try to take cover. This means...

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Zip Blade Zipper Knife

$8.18 from Amazon »

This 0.68" fine edge utility blade has enough pluck to strip wire, cut cardboard, and slice through clamshell packaging. I bet it could even slash open the zipper it's hanging from when it gets stuck, like, every third...

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Hydrogen Reactor

$115.50 from Amazon »

While it sounds like something Batman would be called upon to save the world from, Brunton's Hydrogen Reactor is actually an innocuous, albeit robust, deliverer of power to portable devices. It's a piece of scientific...

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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Village

$17.99 - $129.99 from Amazon »

You can go all out Clark Griswold and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on your holiday decorating this year without risking falling off the roof or running up a thousand-dollar electrical bill. Just make yourself...

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Dumpsty Steel Desktop Dumpster

$195 from Amazon »

A Dumpsty Dumpster is a real steel desktop-sized dumpster for you to throw all the shit you get from your boss / wife / mama in. It even comes with authentic dumpster warning sign magnets and 2 rubber lids in your choice...

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Sound Activated LED Car Sticker

$14.89 from Amazon »

If you're looking for a way both to obstruct 90% of the view out of your back windshield and provide a beacon to po searching for cars to pull over, I am pleased to offer you one of AGPtek's bumpin' & grindin', sound...

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Tesla Coil Lighter

$17.99 from Amazon »

Tesla Coil Lighters are just one of your options if you're looking for a flameless, wind-proof lighter, but I think they're the cleverest looking. Simple, industrial exteriors with flip-tops that expose nifty arced coils...

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Skull Gas Fireplace Logs

$69.95 from Amazon »

Time to surprise my girlfriend with a romantic night by the fire. And a romantic fire filled with human skull fireplace logs. Who knew bone made such fine kindling?...

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Methven Aio Aurajet Shower Head

$99.33 from Amazon »

Methven's Aio shower head uses Aurajet technology to widen your wetness and deepen your experience with your water fixture every time you turn it on. The company says the Aio aims for no less than "maximum body contact...

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Shomer-Tec Laser Surveillance Defeater

$62.99 from Amazon »

All some people (i.e., my girlfriend) want is for people to listen to them. All other people want is for people to stop listening to them. For the first group I can try to extend my attention span to at least 7 minutes...

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Programmable Mouse Jiggler

$18.99 from Amazon »

It's a professional jiggler! No, not Santa Claus. No. Not a stripper. This is a Mouse Jiggler. And it's got nothing to do with bellies and boobies. Though, like the belly and boobie jigglers, the Mouse Jiggler is here...

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FatIvan Fold Up Door Chock

$15.95 from Amazon »

I don't know if I'd be writing about the FatIvan Fold Up Door Chock if it wasn't called FatIvan, but once the magnetic door holder's brilliant name got my attention, I wasn't sorry I stopped to have a further look. An...

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Willy Care Kit

$18.08 from Amazon »

If your name isn't William, and you don't need a gift for a dude named William, I can't imagine why you'd buy a Willy Care grooming kit. I mean, I know it's a common name and all, but are there really enough Willies out...

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Toddler Tamers Leashless Child Ankle Weight System

$7.48 from Amazon »

Those who balk at parents who harness and leash up their impulsive, wriggly, wandering toddlers, here ya go. Toddler Tamers eliminate the dog-owner aesthetic from an otherwise really effective child minding tactic. Instead...

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DrivewaySpike U-Turn Deterrents

$39.95 - $44.95 from Amazon »

Is this a real problem? Or rather, is it such a big deal? People using your driveway as a turnaround. Cars getting lost or going one street too far and pulling into 20' of your pavement to correct their mistake. Since...

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Steel Self Defense Bracelet

$29.69 from Amazon »

Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way...

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Boob Cube

$9.99 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

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Buddha Beads Self Defense Necklace

$29.69 from Amazon »

Huh. Not sure how Buddha would feel about people co-opting his peaceful name and beads of spiritual exploration and meditation to make a necklace for whacking an attacker upside the head. But I can kind of see where Phoenix...

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Handmade in Japan Higo no Kami Knife

$28.48 from Amazon »

Each of these Higo no Kami knives, traditional Japanese non-locking folding blades, are handmade and imported directly from Japan. And if you don't believe me, believe the superb English translation of their product description:...

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Rocket Air Blaster

$11.16 from Amazon »

At first I was excited about the Rocket Air Blaster because I thought it was an updated version of the Stomp Rocket. Or maybe a handheld Stomp Rocket that shot its red lipstick right into my friend Cornelius' earhole...

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Android MK802 Mini PC

$40.10 from Amazon »

AKA The Other $35 Do-It-All Computer. Running Android 4.0, the MK802 Allwinner A10 Mini PC is about the size of a flash drive and, also like your favorite USB storage device, enjoys being plugged into things. HDMI inputs...

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Neck Carriage Titanium Palm Cap Stick

$35.95 from Amazon »

Ti Rod Tactical's Titanium Palm Cap Stick might be the most strangely versatile piece of EDC you can hang around your neck. The 5" long x 0.44" in diameter piece is made of an aerospace grade 5 titanium rod, surrounded...

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QALO Wedding Rings for Athletes

$19.99 from Amazon »

QALO, you win. Best line I've read all month: "After getting married we realized what a nuisance wearing our traditional wedding band was." I know, right? Suddenly women at after-work happy hour are turning down your...

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Pocket Artillery

$34 from Amazon »

This, unbelievably, is exactly what the name suggests, a mini desktop cannon that fires standard BBs. And, it's pretty damn cool. You really need to watch the video to see it in action. I'm certain this will be used for...

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Schrade SCHA5B M.A.G.I.C. Folding Knife

$31.34 from Amazon »

The Schrade SCHA5B M.A.G.I.C. folding knife listing neglects to explain its M.A.G.I.C. acronym, so at first I thought maybe it didn't stand for anything, that the caps and dots are just there for their imposing, visual...

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Sexy Chest Swimsuit

$59.95 from Amazon »

A sexy man chest to caress and a sexy swimsuit to wear to your next pool outing - talk about having your cake and eating it too, ladies. Good for more than just a few laughs or you next gag gift, the Sexy Chest Swimsuit...

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Fast Strike Self Defense Weapon

$22.95 from Amazon »

It's called Fast Strike and - whirwhack! - it's gonna sting. The non-lethal self defense weapon looks like the antenna on the cordless phone my family had growing up. Which, coincidentally, also kinda hurt when someone...

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Bas Rutten O2 Trainer

$49.95 from Amazon »

Who wants to wheeze like a fat asthmatic chasing down the ice cream man? I do! I do! Temporarily anyway. MMA master and onetime UFC Heavyweight Champion Bas Rutten developed his O2 Trainer to build strength in a part...

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Fat Gripz Arm Builders

$38.50 from Amazon »

Obviously the best thing to do if you want to be as strong and jacked as humanly possible is take a lot of steroids. But since steroids are expensive and mostly illegal and might make you talk like Mickey Mouse, an alternative...

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Naughty People Outlet Stickers

$12.20 from Amazon »

These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...

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Turbospoke Bicycle Exhaust System

$19.27 from Amazon »

Hey kids, here's a surefire way to make your parents construct an advent calendar counting down the days until you go back to school next fall. The Turbospoke system, a battery-free, pedal-powered child's dream, fits...

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Man Up!: 367 Classic Skills for the Modern Guy

$9.90 from Amazon »

Man Up!: 367 Classic Skills for the Modern Guy gives you tips for mastering your career, relationships, grooming routine, and adult life in general. A whole year's worth! On a leap year! With one more to grow on! Yeah...what's...

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Airsoft Grenade Launcher

$126.35 from Amazon »

Maybe you'd rather your 6-pack attack come from the real one--the M-32 multiple grenade launcher Mach Machowicz once demoed on Future Weapons--but you'll probably get yourself into a lot less trouble with the po and your...

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DIY Hidden Door Hinge System

$139.95 from Amazon »

Ooh, a hidden door to a boudoir of lingerie and sex toys? Maybe pretending to be interested in books wasn't the worst, most boring mistake I ever made to get a girl to like me after all. Yeah, babe, I do see your first...

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Stirling Engine

$49.99 from Amazon »

This desktop Stirling Engine from Sunnytech uses burning alcohol to create an external combustion process that will motor it all the way from China to your front door. Many who have purchased this model of "physics you...

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My Shiney Hiney Brush Set

$16.88 - $19.98 from Amazon »

Well. I wouldn't argue it isn't dirty. I'm just not sure I care enough to go to the lengths required to make my hiney shiney. I think this cleansing brush set for the bunghole is geared towards women anyway, judging by...

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World's Smallest Violin

$12.95 from Amazon »

This is the world's smallest violin, and I'm gonna play it just for you...whiners! So many whiners! At work. On the road. At the checkout line. In my inbox. And the biggest one of all: right there in my bathroom mirror...